Children often feel that a break-down in their parents’ relationship is there fault, that the child should have been able to make things all better, but it rarely has anything to do directly with the child’s behavior.
Even in this case. It’s been brewing for years at least, and all Ron Jr’s involvement was to be a kid. What he did didn’t matter. It was that his father didn’t help him when he needed it that mattered.
I feel this should be spelled out because every kid I’ve known in Ron’s situation felt “but my situation is different, I definitely did a thing.” But it’s not different, it’s one of the three common situations where it’s not the kids fault.
– One of the partners in the marriage isn’t doing their part as a parent. This could include engaging in activities that are at least perceived to be endangering the child.
– One of the partners in the marriage isn’t doing their agreed role in the marriage (either provider or home maker).
– One of the partners in the marriage isn’t going along with their agreement regarding what constitutes marital fidelity.
It can be multiple of these things, of course, and it’s not necessarily going to be one-sided. I kind of recall one of these situations where both of the parents were divorcing the other because the other was neglecting their parental duties. Apparently, they each felt it was reasonable to expect their spouse to raise their kid on their own.
These certainly aren’t all of the scenarios, and it’s possible that some others are common and I’m not aware of it. But I am not recalling ever encountering a scenario where the parents were actually getting divorced because of their child doing something. I’m sure that has happened, but it seems pretty rare to me.
Children often feel that a break-down in their parents’ relationship is there fault, that the child should have been able to make things all better, but it rarely has anything to do directly with the child’s behavior.
Even in this case. It’s been brewing for years at least, and all Ron Jr’s involvement was to be a kid. What he did didn’t matter. It was that his father didn’t help him when he needed it that mattered.
I feel this should be spelled out because every kid I’ve known in Ron’s situation felt “but my situation is different, I definitely did a thing.” But it’s not different, it’s one of the three common situations where it’s not the kids fault.
– One of the partners in the marriage isn’t doing their part as a parent. This could include engaging in activities that are at least perceived to be endangering the child.
– One of the partners in the marriage isn’t doing their agreed role in the marriage (either provider or home maker).
– One of the partners in the marriage isn’t going along with their agreement regarding what constitutes marital fidelity.
It can be multiple of these things, of course, and it’s not necessarily going to be one-sided. I kind of recall one of these situations where both of the parents were divorcing the other because the other was neglecting their parental duties. Apparently, they each felt it was reasonable to expect their spouse to raise their kid on their own.
These certainly aren’t all of the scenarios, and it’s possible that some others are common and I’m not aware of it. But I am not recalling ever encountering a scenario where the parents were actually getting divorced because of their child doing something. I’m sure that has happened, but it seems pretty rare to me.